Day four of 21 days of prayer
Today we are praying over the vulnerable places in our tender hearts. Gosh, I don’t know about y’all, but different seasons of life can resurface previous pains and hurtful memories. What’s up with that? Ugh, you get freedom but it’s a daily habit of taking every thought and emotion captive. Its almost like weeds that you work so hard to pull out of the flower beds and naturally because of life’s rain and fertile soil, beautiful plants grow but so do the weeds! It’s definitely not a one time thing to deal with your emotions, it’s a daily pruning in healthy and effective ways that allow your life to blossom and grow more beautiful each day!
Sometimes I feel so healed in certain areas and something will happen and trigger me to remember a feeling and emotion that is tied to a hurtful past memory. Then, if I’m not careful... I’ll see the world, relationships, and people through the lens of my previous hurts, pains, and past emotions. It’s so strange, but it’s true.
God has designed us to be such beautiful and complex intellectual creatures... and I’m realizing more as I get older that I need to recognize that it’s okay to not be okay. It’s okay to have break downs and cry and feel pain. That’s human, if you didn’t feel those emotions... you may not be dealing with your hurts and pain and just pushing past dealing with it to get through the next day.
Filtering through and processing your emotions can be draining and exhausting, which is probably the main reason a lot of people don’t take the time to do it... but I’m trying to do better about making it a priority as an, “I Have To Process and Deal with this” kinda thing, not an “I’ll deal with it later” kinda thing. I think the scariest thing about dealing with pain is feeling vulnerable and exposed, and if you don’t have the right support or resources, that can be further destructive to your mental health and well being. It’s so important to use discernment about who to open up about your vulnerabilities. You should always have several people in your life that are a safe place for you to open up and be real, raw, and honest with that will love you unconditionally but also tell you the straight up truth with love and grace. It’s a hard combination to find sometimes, but those types of friendships are out there and available to you! Sometimes it just takes a little longer to develop nurturing friendships that are more than just the surface level. Friendships like these take time to find or develop and is a work in progress too but definitely beneficial and worth investing in for your sake and your friend’s. Someone once told me to have 5 types of friends, the type of friend that I’m talking about above knows all your junk and loves, comforts, and counsels you all the same. She is your “Victoria Secret” friend. Ha! :)
But, let’s get back on track! So... I’ve noticed that God has allowed me to deal with past hurts and vulnerability at certain times of my life. There were certain people that I could relate to that helped me deal with it and then I moved forward in life from those hurts and pain. I received restoration in that season and in that specific area. Then, later I met other people or seasons of life changed which brought to my attention other areas of my heart that had been wounded and hurt. So, I dealt with that part in those seasons. But the beauty of it is God doesn’t overwhelm us by trying to fix all our issues at one time, it’s a process and it’s a molding of our character and of our faith in Him.
Each season of life has revealed certain areas of vulnerability and hurts that I needed to overcome and God has given me enough grace to be restored in those seasons with the necessary people and support.
But, I guess at one point in my life I thought, “Oh! You just receive all the healing in one setting and restoration and move on happily in freedom...”
But that’s not reality and can cause some frustration and unmet expectations... I’ve been learning that God restores piece by piece each detail of your life “one compartment or room” at a time. He is so intentional with each moment, each season, each area of our lives.
He only sheds light on areas of pains and hurts when we are spiritually strong enough to deal with them and receive the healing. He heals the areas that are needed in those seasons.
Many times we are not in a good head space or able to comprehend and fully receive His healing, so He saves His restoration and revelation for different seasons when our hearts have been healed in one area and are open to receive healing in the next area.
Think back to your childhood. Are there certain hurts and pains and emotions that still haunt you? You have to deal with those emotions first and process them. Dealing with those first will help you pin-point certain triggers or emotional outburst or damaging thought patterns that you have right now.
Work your way from the beginning to today, write down a timeline of every emotional pain and hurt that has happened over the course of your life. You don’t have to do this all in one setting. Take your time and take a few days to “Chew” on your thoughts and timeline this week! You will be surprised to see what’s been decompressed and bottling up inside of you!
After you have done all these things, go back over each one and write some words of affirmation and scripture. If you are dealing with abandonment, write next to it today’s date and, “God says that I am filled and loved. Nothing can separate me from His love. Even if people choose to abandon me, I will not be shaken and my joy will not be stolen. I proclaim that the spirit of abandonment must leave right now in the name of Jesus and I replace it with God’s overwhelming love and peace. I am loved. I am adored by My King. I am wanted. I know who I am in Christ and I reject any other lie that the devil has labeled on me in the past. Today, I proclaim God’s truth over me and walk in this newness and claim it over my life!”
Live Courageously. Love Radiantly.